This may be unpopular but it’s real. There is much ambiguity around God. If we are not willing to tussle with these thoughts, we will either choose unbelief or a belief that hasn’t been well thought out or defined. To know anything it must be fully examined. I believe that God is big enough and secure enough to allow my humanness to be exposed.
Let’s look at the idea that God is in control vs God allowing us to choose. One of the biggest battles for humans is the lack of certainty. I pray and ask. I believe. Yet, my loved one dies. Yet, I lose my job. Yet, evil prevails against me. So, is God allowing these things to occur or are people fully affecting my life and free will overrides God being in control?
If God doesn’t force His will on man but simply lays out His will and we are allowed to choose His way and move to the beat of God’s heart or not; then every part of my life that intersects with someone else has the potential to hurt, harm, or destroy me. And that part is not under God’s control.
We’ve been taught that prayer is some transactional thing that if I pray then I will get. But what if the truth is prayer is simply having a God who hears, cares, and gives you the inner strength to keep going?
This walk with God is very individual. I’m constantly deciding to learn, believe, surrender, and trust. Not to make God’s hand move but to live in this uncertain world with the certainty that God is mine.
Excuse my frankness here, but one could ask, what’s the use of having a God that doesn’t move on my behalf when I feel I need Him to? A God that sits back and watches evil prevail, heartache happening, knowing it’s destroying my faith yet, no rescue team is sent to restore and protect me.
If we look at the people in the scriptures they wrestled with these facts as well. Job begged for understanding. David fully accepted the part he played in his agony but couldn’t understand the continual assaults. Jeremiah was sent to try to rescue his people but faced the same turmoil as they did because they choose not to believe, yet Jeremiah believed. The Apostles gave their lives for the gospel and faced much persecution and horrible deaths. The Bible is not one of fantasies and rose-colored glasses. It’s harsh at times. And can be brutal for those who believe and those who don’t believe.
What are the benefits of believing in this God of the Bible? If there is no guarantee of my everyday life changing then am I serving just for eternity? But if I don’t stay in alignment with God during my harshest conditions and devastating pains, I risk the last and greatest gift of having this God of the scriptures be mine. But it is all my choice.
But not my choice if I believe. Not my choice if God chooses me to be His bride. Not my choice to have a pliable and believing heart. Not my choice to repent to be forgiven. Not my choice to even have faith. All these are gifts from God. Gifted to me without my consent. I get to choose to receive the gifts but not choose to be given the gift.
Walking with God isn’t about pleasantries on earth. Walking with God is about the assurance that GOD sees you, cares for you, and loves you, even though your rescue may not come until you meet Him in the end. This is what the people of scriptures wrestled with and still CHOOSE to stay with God.
These are the real questions we need to tussle with as believers. Not with quick cliches and scriptures. But a true look within our hearts. We’ve been taught a superficial way of walking with God. It’s not about how many sins you quit, how many scriptures you can quote, or how many people you can help; these are all the effects of a heart that has tussled with God. But we reversed the equation. We tried to do the stuff without counting up the cost. Without counting the cost, the “stuff” is being done but why? Are you willing to walk this narrow path with no guarantee of getting what you want?
So yes, this walk has ambiguity for us but God is not ambiguous. What a paradox! Choosing to be with God requires studying, investigating, tussling, releasing, and transformation. It isn’t for the faint of heart. And most importantly it is about God way more than it is about us. This fact alone makes it uncomfortable. But if you learn God, you will gladly choose Him. It’s Your Choice!
Choosing Freedom, Purpose, and Love,
Natalie
Your Life & Relationship Coach
P.S. Have you taken our Better Human Course and/or Uniquely Yours Marriage Course
